The Gyoza Monster (Massu-centric NEWS)-PG

18Sep09

Title: The Gyoza Monster
Group: NEWS (Very Massu-centric) Jin cameo
Author: Eri
Style: Crack, fluff.
Word Count: 736
Warning: A bit of language.
Summary: The group wonders why Massu loves gyoza so much.

Gyoza.

One word was all it took to get his attention.  He would stop whatever he was doing, no matter what it was, if you muttered the magic word.  The sound of the word on his ears made him swear he could taste the gyoza already in his mouth the moment he heard the first syllable.

The rest of the members never really understand his obsession.  Sure, Keii-chan had an unhealthy relationship with ramen and would sometimes be caught by the other members downing it on tour at 4 am in a fit of nerves, and don’t even mention Shige and curry rice.  They all had their own culinary vices, but none even came close to the way that Massu regarded gyoza. 

If there was a Church of Gyoza, he would have been worshipping there every day, no, he would be the head of that church.  One time, he had even mentioned forming it when he was drunk out of his mind on extra-strong liquor one of Jin’s friends had brought back from Korea.  Pi had convinced to Jin to let Massu come to the party (after all who could resist his cute pleading and smiling)?  After downing seven shots of the mysterious neon green liquid and puking on Jin’s favorite pair of skinny jeans and then nearly falling off the balcony, he wasn’t invited to Jin’s parties again.

One random time in Kabukicho, he found himself literally risking his life for gyoza.  The man brandishing a sharp stiletto knife had poked his hard belly threateningly, demanding his money.  Massu’s child-like face had crumpled and he acquiesced, but insisted on keeping 550 yen for the gyoza that he was on his way to get at an izakaya (they were famous despite being in a shady back-alley).  The assailant was stunned but let him keep the small amount, running off with the rest of the money in his wallet and his expensive cell phone.  Despite the fact that he had just been mugged, the pungent smell of the gyoza and the lovely warm sensation of the meat dumplings sliding down his throat made everything all better.

Gyoza had even wrecked havoc on his (albeit few) romantic relationships.  Massu didn’t understand that not everyone found the little pieces of heaven so enthralling.  Tegoshi had been nice and hooked him up with an adorable classmate, a sweet girl who was an education major and wanted to be a kindergarten teacher.  Tesshi was sure Massu wouldn’t screw this one up.

But he did, via letting the conversation drift towards their favorite foods.  She smiled and waxed poetic about Korean food, and politely asked what his favorite food was.  Massu took a breath and then began talking about gyoza with stars in his eyes.  After five minutes of hearing about where the best gyoza were in Osaka, Kyoto, Kobe and a small village in Nagano-ken, his date’s eyes were the size of dinner plates.  She was aghast and a bit frightened by his passion for the food.

Oblivious, Massu rambled on and on.  After ten more minutes (fifteen minutes total so far) of describing the subtle nuances of the grinding of the meat in gyoza fillings and the differences of salt levels in brands of dipping sauce, she excused herself to the restroom.

He was utterly flabbergasted when she never came back.

“I don’t get it Tegoshi! We talked about movies and food….” he whined to his bandmate.  Sighing, Tegoshi shrugged but then a light bulb appeared above his head figuratively (although Ryo would swear that sometimes it would really appear like symbols appear above Sims characters since it was a rare event Tegoshi thought about anything but hair products and perfumes). 

“Did gyoza enter the conversation?” he asked apprehensively.

Massu nodded, his eyebrow raising in a questioning manner. 

“UGH!” Tegoshi squealed, turning as his hands flew up in exasperation.

“HEHEHEHE” Ryo laughed nearly falling off the couch as he put two and two together and figured out that not once (the last time involved a friend of Yamapi’s that ran away due to his insistence on visiting four gyoza places in one night), but TWICE, Massu’s gyoza love had caused him problems in the love department.

“HEY MASSU, IF YOU LOVE GYOZA SO MUCH WHY DON’T YOU MARRY IT?” he chortled, face scrunching up as he laughed so hard his sides began to ache. 

“Shut the hell up!” Massu retorted, pouting. 

“Although I would if I could….” he murmured wistfully.

Advertisement

Filed under: NEWS   |  Leave a Comment
Tags: crossover, drabble, Eri, johnny's entertainment, Massu, Masuda, NEWS, Takahisa