Drowning (Ryoda)

04Sep09

Title: Drowning
Pairing: Ryoda
Author: Tsuki
Style: Pure angst
Word Count: 736
Warning: Angst, and lots of it. Why depressing? Because I can be. No yaoi. I apologize for the lack of crack-bringing with this drabble. XD

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Ueda sat there, letting the rain soak into his clothes. It slipped off of his pale skin and onto the concrete underneath him. His eyes stared at the ground, searching for something he knew he wouldn’t find. Brown hair was plastered to his face messily, and his jeans tightened uncomfortably around his skinny legs.

“Hold me,” he whispered to the wind. He knew not a single soul would hear him, and that made his crack lift with happiness and shatter with pain. Ueda felt as if he was drowning within himself, even though the oxygen flooded his brain and lungs rapidly. Tears mixed with rain, both streaking down his face.

“Never let me go.” His voice ghosted across the small park, reaching the ears of none. Numbness came over him, and he could no longer feel the rain pattering on his back.

“Don’t forget me.” Ueda drew his knees up to his chest, burying his face in the chilling fabric of his pants. He bit his lip and almost ripped through the tender skin, and he wondered if his blood would mix with the rain in a beautiful swirl, or instead, stain it a dirty and sinful color. The boy shook his head and let his body lean on the tree next to him.

“Don’t leave me.” His eyes were devoid of any emotion and his body numb with pain. He closed his eyes, ignoring the tears which flowed from them freely. His eyelids drifted closed, hiding the coffee-tinted orbs within.

“Just hear my voice,” he choked out. Only the sound of the rain reached his ears, not even a single human voice. “Save me,” Ueda pleaded. The only warmth he could find was in the rough bark of the tree next to him. There were no kind words which would soothe his soul, and even if there was, they wouldn’t be enough to bring him back to reality.

He sighed. Rain washed over his pain coldly, and dark shadows were splayed across his face messily. Maybe he could just sit here…and let himself fall asleep…

His eyelids felt heavy with lead and depression, and Ueda faintly wondered if he would ever wake up afterwards. He didn’t have the strength to open them now, and maybe he wouldn’t later. A shiver ran over his body, shaking life into him.

“What are you doing?”

The voice was smeared with disgust and void of pity. Ueda smiled to himself like a maniac. Maybe an angel had come down to bring him away from this damned place. He opened his eyes, ready to meet the glowing figure.

Only Nishikido Ryo stood in front of him.

The crazed smile dropped from Ueda’s face and into a frown. Red lines stained his eyes, and the tears were starting to burn his cheeks.

“What do you want?” He was in no mood to deal with the egotistical man who hated him.

Hate. Ueda nearly spat at the ground. Such a useless and pointless matter to the world.

“Coward. Weakling.”

Ueda sat there, taking all of Ryo’s insults at face. His heart thudded quietly, agreeing with each one thrown at him. He couldn’t help but feel hurt slightly, however. He already knew all these things, and Ryo felt the need to throw all of them right back at him.

“Okay,” Ueda whispered, startling Ryo.

He pushed himself off the ground, ignoring the curious gaze on his back. Ueda turned to face the emptiness and forgot that Ryo existed. There was no need to lie to himself anymore. There wasn’t a force that compelled a disgustingly fake smile to his face. He didn’t want to pretend that he was happy anymore.

He just wanted to drown in his own tears, and then sleep.

Ueda stretched his arms, the crack and pops of his shoulders showing him the fact that he was still painfully alive.

He turned to look at Ryo once. They stared at each other for a few fleeting moments.

“Thanks,” Ueda murmured.

He found himself being held by a pair of strong arms and a face buried in the crook of his neck. His body tensed up uncomfortably before relaxing.

“I’m sorry.”

Ueda let the last of his tears mix with the rain.

“Don’t apologize. That just makes me feel worse.”

He thought he heard Ryo sniff.

“What do you want then?”

Ueda’s eyelids slipped close once more.

“Just drown with me.”

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Tags: crossover, johnny's entertainment, KAT-TUN, NEWS, ryoda, tsuki